By the Time You Read This, I'll Be Dead

By the Time You Read This, I'll Be Dead

by Julie Anne Peters

"Bullycide.  I know that word well.  Suicide as an escape from bullying."

Daelyn knows bullycide only too well.  After two botched suicide attempts, she's determined that the next time she tries, she will not fail.  She's got it all planned out including the date, time, and way she's going to do it.

What she hadn't planned on was Santana, a home-schooled boy who lives near her school and suddenly is very interested in her.  She also hadn't planned on meeting Emily, a girl who is just as fat as Daelyn used to be and is going through many of the same things she had.

So, as Daelyn plans her suicide and spends time on a website devoted to those who are planning to kill themselves, she also finds herself reaching out to others and being reached by them for the first time.

Is it too late for her to step back from that suicidal ledge she's balancing on?

Final thoughts:  Initially, this book frightened me.  It's very well written, but filled with far too much detail with regards to many of the different options available, IMHO.  However, as I continued to read about Daelyn's past and reasons for wanting to just die and get away from the pain, I could see where she was coming from, though a large part of me wanted to just reach through the book and comfort her.  The ending is ambiguous, but I can just see this book getting banned because of the content. (I hope I'm wrong.)  This is good for older teens, especially those who don't see a way out, but should not be kept in middle school libraries.

Rating:  5/5